Why I Haven’t Gotten a Hand Job from My Partner in a Long Time

I can’t say that I love hand jobs because I don’t, and neither does my partner. In fact, I haven’t had manual service on my penis in a very long time. But there’s actually a good reason for that, and it’s probably not what you think.

What happened to my awesome handjobs?

It all started back a few years ago when I was first dating my current partner. We would go to the movies and sit close to each other in a dark room. That kind of ambience always set my libido into overdrive, so we’d ultimately end up making out like two school kids late for church.

Since we couldn’t have sex in the theater, and since I still lived with a sloppy roommate, we had to get creative about getting it on. So, we’d do some heavy petting in between action scenes and rub a few out before the end of the movie. It was like Netflix and chill before all the convenience.

After a while, though, that kind of stuff got old. We both wanted more, but we didn’t want to lose the school-age passion we were feeling for one another. That’s when we began experimenting with different techniques and approaches. Over time, we developed our own repertoire.

However, much of that repertoire involved hand jobs at first until I got honest with my partner. As it turned out, she didn’t like it any more than I did. So, we discovered that we’d both been living a lie and that’s how this story unfolds. Through honesty and openness, we developed a much more satisfying sex life that still includes the passion but not all the manual stimulation.

Why my partner hasn’t given me a hand job in a while

From that story, you’re probably assuming that my partner never touches my dick at all anymore. Either that, or you think she just gives me blow jobs all the time. Neither one of those theories is true. It’s actually much more interesting than that.

To understand why my partner no longer gives me hand jobs, you have to know the back story. So, while you got a little taste up above, this is how it all breaks down. Truth be told, these are the four reasons why my partner stopped giving me manual pleasure:

#1. She’s not a big fan of hand jobs in general

I love my partner, don’t get me wrong. But she couldn’t give a decent hand job if there was a gun to her head. Instead of stroking it, she goes about poking it. Instead of rubbing it, she sets out tugging it. I can’t catch a break, which is pretty awful when you need a quick fix from a loving hand (other than your own).

All of this told me one thing: my partner hates touching my junk. She denies thinking it looks like a baby bird falling out of its ungroomed nest, but we both know the truth. And even if I primp my penis like it’s going to prom, she still doesn’t enjoy jerking it for me. I guess it has something to do with her arm muscles and lack of physical endurance, so I can sort of understand.

FUN FACT: I’m not trying to brag, but I have the stamina of a thoroughbred racehorse.

#2. I don’t like it very much either.

Like I said, my partner isn’t very good at giving handouts if you know what I mean. She keeps all the good stuff locked between her legs, so I won’t mess up a good thing by looking for mediocre relief from someone else. Thus, I’m not a big fan of her hand jobs and she’s well aware of that now. In fact, I think that’s the only thing we’ve agreed on since we first started dating.

Either way, I don’t like my partner doing things that they don’t like doing. In my eyes, a relationship is about mutual respect. So, I shouldn’t be forcing my bae to bat my balls if she’s not into it. And since we already know she’s not, we just concluded that this is how it’s going to be. BJ or bust. It’s usually bust.

#3. We used the wrong tools and techniques for too long.

Having said all that, I think I should point out that neither my partner nor I were sex experts when we met. Instead, we were two young lovers experimenting with different tools, techniques, sensations, and roles. The stuff we did in the beginning was lame AF now that we look back. Believe it or not, we didn’t even use lube the first few times we fooled around.

So, maybe that gave us both a sour taste in our mouth about hand jobs in general. Perhaps it made us believe that the pleasure was literally out of our hands. If that seems ridiculous, stick around. It was in that moment that we realized the answer to our problem. My partner still hasn’t given me a manual hand job, though. So, how is that possible?

#4. We decided to start using hand job machines instead.

The last reason my partner stopped giving me hand jobs is because she no longer has to. At the same time, I no longer have to go without the kinks and pleasure I enjoy so much. We can revisit our old stomping grounds, watch movies in our favorite theaters, and fool around no matter where we go thanks to high-tech handjob machines with interactive features.

Did you know that you can perform various sex acts on a partner from miles away? Neither did we until we started exploring the sex toy market. Back when we met, you had to be face-to-face to get it on. Now, you can hook up virtual reality via Bluetooth and enjoy a hand-free hand job if you can imagine such a thing. There are even some devices that use motion sensors to support real-time experiences.

The rest is history

My partner and I no longer argue about who’s going down on who, and that’s because we’ve embraced the sextech revolution with both hands. Hand job machines are perhaps the single-most couples-friendly sex toy on the modern market in our humble opinions. Since we started using them instead of our palms, the sex has gotten better, the bond has gotten tighter, and the movies have gotten shorter.

Meanwhile, I’ve been able to experience some of the most intense orgasms of my life – some of them nothing short of a miracle. That’s a sensation I’d never expect from a handy, and I probably wouldn’t have ever felt it had it not been for the machines in my lap. So, the next time your partner complains about their arms hurting from jerking you off, just give them a hand job machine and get ready for the show.

How to improve your no-hands hand job

If this exercise taught me anything, it’s that I don’t have to settle for second best. Just because I enjoy having my dick touched doesn’t mean I have to beg my partner. And just because my partner prefers not to use her hands doesn’t mean she has to say “no” all the time. We’ve finally found a way to compromise on that, although we don’t agree on much more.

However, we both think that these 5 tips are the best ways to improve the experience as a whole, especially if you’re done using your bare hands for pleasure:

Use an enhanced lubricant.

There are several different types of lubricants out there, but they’re not all made the same. Some have enhanced ingredients to help improve the user’s sensations. Look for tingling, heating, or cooling lubes for better play. And if you’re using a hand job machine, be sure the formulation is compatible with the device’s material.

Check the dimensions.

These machines are as unique as you, so don’t go into this with a “one-size-fits-all” mindset. Instead, do some damage control by measuring your erect penis. Then, compare those numbers to the toy’s insertion point and penile canal. If you don’t think it will fit, try something else. There are machines for every shape and size, plus a little lubrication can go a long way with these things.

Pair it with another toy.

If you’re smart, you’ll get a hand job machine that’s interactive or compatible with another device. Many brands make entire inventories to coordinate, and there are even some cross-over options as well. My partner and I love this stuff because we’re not always in the same location when the mood strikes. It helps prevent temptation, infidelity, loneliness, and blue balls all at once.

Experiment with the features.

You don’t have to be intimidated by sex toys just because they’re penis-hungry robots. Most of the time, they’re built with beginners in mind, with high-tech and intuitive settings that are easy to learn. I suggest trying a few new things but always keeping the party at a reasonable rate to prevent injury or accidents.

Learn your body’s behavior.

Once you know what you like, it’s easier to weed out the stuff you don’t. For example, I enjoy suction but prefer air pressure over traditional vibrations. So, I steer clear of certain devices and opt for specific models instead. However, I’m always open to new things because that’s how I got here in the first place.

BONUS TIP: Keep it clean. That way, it always works the way it’s supposed to when you’re ready to go.

The money shot

This is not a drill. My partner hasn’t given me a hand job in a very long time, and it has changed our sex life forever. Don’t be like us. Make boss moves before you’re forced to learn the hard way.

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